Monday, May 14, 2012

Wood Fears Metal - Notes on Desire

I've written so much to you. A lot of words you'll never see. You might never "see" these words, either.
Are you afraid of people? You say you're lonely.. why do you keep so hidden?

I can't shake this idea that you're bad for me. Yet I still want you. Better judgement says I want you more than you want me.
And why? You philosophize, yet you have no practice. You understand duality intellectually, yet the real exquisite terror of science is that when it looks in the mirror, it sees poetry.

The paradox of this is that any (assuredly volatile to some degree) partnership between us could still possibly be hi-functioning and mutually beneficial.

But nobody, Nobody, can make another person want something they don't.

Do I write this more for myself, than for you? Maybe. It doesn't matter.
Either way my skin demands to be articulated. My path, my pretext, conceived.

I do and do not struggle to hear all my raw desire in the wake of you. Desire that is not judgement. Desire that is not expectation.

Desire for warmth. True intimacy.

A pact of non-aggression is still a call to action.

Sometimes, a woman is encouraged to be a thing without a past. I certainly do not intend to give my legacy away.

I am the best writer I can be right now- as a feature of my will and the sum of my parts.
My own loneliness and sadness, interlaced the twine of a few bad decisions, are not regretted.
Their edges have been explored much much more than once.
Still more, they've been found expertly fathomed. My eyes see more clearly after tears have washed them.

The "you" I speak to is the great elusive love. The soul mate in the traditional sense- lovely, strong, and in the male form.

It would be arrogant to say "I am ready for you". I am only truly prepared to say "I am worth loving, and so are you."

So, are you?

I'll keep calling out into the dark, knowing you will come.

Monday, May 7, 2012

List: Band Names

Dicky Listless and the Affairs
Heart Ache and the Bummers
Meta Phor and the Dislikes
Like Or As
Code Perfect
Meat Drawer
Sex Bunker
Petti Theft and the Pilfers
The Lonesome Bulldogs
The Long Midnight
Hot Noise (first album title: Hardup For Stereo)
Undercover Youngbloods
Dead Push Music
Covitous Ov
Mick Lixx and the Jolly Pops
Tab Lloyd and the Bad Publicity
Word Gun
Talking Tape Gun
The Daring Cut Lables
Satanic Carwash
Jefferson Leopard Lovestory
Grant Asylum
Mint Hoax Yawn
Plastic African
Mechanical Bullshit
Occultocaust (Its a Dog Eat God world...)
The Reverend Bartender Headache
The Waitress Union
Glib Contour
Sleepy Dirt
Foxy Moron
Ultimate Beef (saw this spraypainted on the side of a building/restaurant)
Barking Jeanius
Double Death
Soft Sword
Jayjee Ballad and the Bombs
Hot War
Idiot Electron
Creative Fighting and the Anything Dangerous
Shugar Skhull
Napoleonic Code
Wet Magnet
Teen Murder Composition
The Glued-Ons
Deena Martini and the Crass Pack
Fierce Decible
Dick Nigger and the Badasssssses
Alphabet Tapedeck
Kilometer Frame
The Constantly Tinys
Bystander Effect
Light and Moth
Frankfurt Motor (had a dream about this one: "meat and bones animal deathfuck porn band")

...Up for grabs, that is, if you feel like starting a band(!)
And if you think you've heard any of these before... let me know.