My mother's mother passed away on Friday. The last of the matriarchs to go...
I saw her just a few weeks back, and have no urge to go to funeral services.
However, in a silly twist, in a week or so I'll be taking on an acting gig that involves being a mourner at a mock funeral...
It is there that I intend to do a lot of crying for no good reason.
One day when I was little, I found I could cry on demand. I think I had something in my eye.
My mother was dually impressed with this. She'd say things like: You could go to Hollywood with tears like those.
Now, I simply lower my eyes and try to think of something that makes my nose tingle and my face itch like an allergic reaction, and soon I'm weeping.
But these salty jewels don't come cheap...
A little while back, I watched Wings of Desire. A German film by Wim Wenders, and it made me cry. Or moreso that I cried for watching it. It occurred to me then to make a list of all the things that have ever moved me to tears.
This is a work in progress, of course...
Old Photos, sometimes, like movies.
The love of my mother, and things that have made my mother cry out of sympathy for her.
The death of my father's sister last summer. The death of my grandfather, and his incredible send off.
Often, the plight of others. Lost families during wartime.
Videos of people, kids especially, getting puppies for christmas.
Went to write to her after I saw her at a reading in 2005. That's when I found out she'd passed away.
Mother Teresa, and her confiding to a priest with whom she was close late in life, that she was no longer able to hear the voice of God. And that even if he'd given up on her, she hadn't given up on him.
My brother, singing a song I'd written about love in the hospital.
The short story Girl Pool by Kurt Vonnegut.
The children's story The Velveteen Rabbit.
Every single boyfriend, especially the ones that drove me crazy, and the romantic love they offered.
LAIKA, the first dog (Russian) in space, who did not come back- "We did not gather enough data from the mission to warrant the death of the dog."
I hope you can find a reason to be thankful for your humanity and compassion today, and tomorrow...